duplicity — inbox

[vestments]

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[vestments]

( alas, the problem is that marc's not entirely clear what natasha thinks is actually the case with regards to marc and steven, meaning his whole idea of how to respond is—

—CHALLENGING. )

Grant ( ... ) is used to a certain lifestyle.

Money, and all the trappings that come with it.

[redhourglass]

( meanwhile, natasha doesn't know what to call it. they're clearly the same person (?), or at least occupying the same body. banner might have some wisdom to offer there, or even strange... but she's neither of them, and so: )

it's not an uncommon view to have here
but very different from what i thought yours was
or is

[vestments]

What do you think mine is?

( do they know each other enough for natasha to think she knows that? he's not sure, and it's the only thing he can think to ask before he can even work out how to respond.

if daphne hadn't figured it out — even if she's long gone now — and if there weren't an assortment of other people who knew the previous marc (and steven) and knew their situation whilst letting marc know they knew—

this would be a very different conversation. it's still not precisely pleasant, it's still not something marc's ever going to feel happy offering of his own volition, apropos nothing and without reason, but it's easier to navigate than it could be.

and helped, perhaps, by the fact that natasha hasn't actually asked who steven is. )

[redhourglass]

it's a guess, but i'd consider it an educated one
you're not interested in mutual benefit — if you could avoid the contract altogether, you would
it feels wrong to own someone, no matter the 'benefit'
and you don't trust yourself with it regardless

( maybe, in the end, it doesn't matter who steven is. maybe marc will tell her himself, eventually — but the context setting of the fact that she is almost certain they're the same person (?) just adds to the overall knowing of him.

the rest is just what she can pick up from their interactions (and a little bit of network stalking to boot) )

[vestments]

( that is—

—actually pretty on the money.

he'd been hoping she'd be wrong, or that she'd at least talk about in terms of relationships or something that doesn't end with 'you don't trust yourself'. )

"It feels wrong to own someone". That's hardly an uncommon perspective, Natasha.
I'd imagine most people here feel that way.
Even ( especially ) Steven Grant.

( made all the worse by the way khonshu has insisted over the years that he owns marc. not always in those terms — rarely, in fact — but there's something distasteful about a jewish man owing a debt to an egyptian god, even if the god insists on calling the man his son. )

[redhourglass]

( she's perceptive — often in ways that people don't want her to be. unclear how much of it is an innate predisposition to noticing things vs training from birth, but it gives her the distinction of being rarely wrong about people. unfortunate, in marc's case; for the most part, she keeps it to herself. but he had asked. )

never said it was uncommon
it's what landed me in the people zoo the first few times

( she knows what it's like to be property. it'd taken something worse coming along to force her to sign for the first time. )

i'll tell you what i told him
there are lots of contracts like that in this place, but you can't be as open about it as you used to be
the collars, the bracelets — all of it intended to make clear where our places are meant to be

[vestments]

Steven Grant is used to signing contracts.
I can't imagine he needed you to break it down for him.
'Appearances' is what he does.

If someone wanted to be clever about it, they might even say that's what he's for.

( well.

it's what they both used to say steven WAS FOR.
(he makes himself laugh, sometimes.) )

[redhourglass]

( ah —

steven is the face. marc is the ... what? the protector? ordinarily she'd scoff at that, quip something like 'marc is the mess' (and maybe that's true too), but it feels too important to just blow off like that. )

so, do you know?
did he sign?

[vestments]

( jake is there for dealing with all the emotions marc can't, steven is there for sorting out their lives, for picking the pieces back up and putting them together, and marc—.

marc is the mess. even he'd agree with that assessment. )

Is that what you're asking?

[redhourglass]

( he’s not wrong to ask — though natasha had been wondering how long they could keep this up. and here they are, at the crux of things. )

fine
did he sign, did you sign
it’s the same, isn’t it?

[vestments]

( marc could keep it up all day if he thought it would work, but—.

"it's the same."
once, marc would have said yes. he'd have brushed it off and said that steven was a disguise — or marc was a disguise, someone that had died in selima and whose identity now was useful only for what he knew, who he knew. they were the same, quote-unquote, just each had a different profile, a different use, but insisting on that had resulted in a breakdown or two.

and it's not true. it'd only worked for as long as it had with marlene because she'd wanted it to be true, too. jean-paul had never asked, never wondered openly about it because he knew marc. because the relationship he and marc had was built on not talking about anything like that. )

You don't see me in jail, do you?

But no. Not in the way you seem to think.
"Semantics".
Hardly.
That's what I used to say about it all.
Steven. Marc. ( jake. ) That it didn't matter because Marc was a dead man. A ghost.
You've said it yourself, Grant's perspective is different to mine. It always has been. He doesn't like Marc Spector, doesn't like what Marc Spector does. ( is that true, or is it marc's perspective of himself bleeding into how he thinks steven feels about him? ) Not an uncommon opinion.
Marlene didn't like Marc much, either.
Being with Grant isn't being with me.

And if he'd signed a contract without my say so, we'd have had words.

( except, clearly, it doesn't work the other way round. )

He'd have broken our agreement.

2/2

[vestments]

Happy?

[redhourglass]

( as anticipated, she’s touched the nerve at the root of it all. but he’s shared more with her than in months … so maybe that’s something. and beyond the part of her that is cataloguing this, adding it to her list of assets in this place (a constant calculus she can’t turn off) —

she wonders how much self hatred it takes to split like this. )

so you can communicate with each other
i wondered about that

( “happy?” — she knows better than to rise to that bait. )

[vestments]

When it suits.

[redhourglass]

and when does it suit?

( pressing a bit — she can’t think of another time he might ever want to talk about this. )

[vestments]

( "it doesn't." )

Excuse me?

[redhourglass]

he didn’t share that he and i had spoken — which makes sense, that conversation wasn’t anything special

but i assume there are some things you’ve agreed to share no matter what

[vestments]

Special enough for you to remember it.

Do I strike you as the sharing type?

[redhourglass]

do i strike you as the forgetting type?

but fine, i can take the hint

[vestments]

Only when you want to be.

You're asking a lot of questions.

[redhourglass]

( wow, rude (accurate) )

wouldn’t you?

[vestments]

No.

I wouldn't.

[redhourglass]

maybe that makes you better than me, then

[vestments]

Not especially.
Questions have never been my forte.

[redhourglass]

you don’t stay alive in this business as long as i have without asking a few